Earlier today I got some very bad news regarding a friend of mine I've known all my life. Last night she was hit by a drunk driver and she's currently in critical condition in a hospital. She might not make it.
If you haven't noticed, I've been acting differently today.
My way of dealing with pain has three phases. Phase one was immense sadness after I first got the news. I wasn't on here for that time. And the second phase was insecurity, paranoia and guilt. I came here to be surrounded by friends. But I was afraid to bring it up earlier after I got kicked. This was not your fault.
But Phase 3 is a defense mechanism consisting of anger and less self control. I can feel One of My Turns coming on. I feel cold as a razor blade right now. And I …Read more >
Yesterday, I came on the RP fear chat just wanting to watch everybody enjoying themselves, more or less as a spectator. All I had wanted to do was to watch. And when Dawn called me Nick, I felt like I might as well speak my mind, be completely honest with the chat, and take the guilt from Sunday off my chest before I was whisked away on a fresh batch of ban muffins.
But I never was. Dawn made sure she let me know I had done the right thing. She said I could stay as long as I behaved myself, not to mention the fact that she forgave me for not letting her go as quickly as I should have. All the anger and all that angst, for that one moment, was gone. She put her ass on the line for me, because I know the others weren't happy with letting me …Read more >